If I Had A Heart by Mehreen Yawar

by - Saturday, April 22, 2017


I may call myself blind, deaf or useless but unfortunately I can't, because they have a heart. I am the actual meaning of handicapped, the perfect depiction of senselessness. I am deprived of a heart that can feel, the center of all human emotions. I am the one who should be pitied upon, I am the one who needs to be looked upon with special care, with sympathy and an air of despair.
I have been given eyes but they don't see. They refuse to witness the melancholy that comes of all the brutality at every corner of this agonizing world. They see only that which is appealing to them, not that which should be seen, felt and cried over. The barbarity before reaching my eyes, assumes a blanket over it and this is why I can't bat an eye. I only know how to shed tears over my own unfulfilled worthless desires. Perhaps I wouldn't have been this blind if I had a heart.
I hear, I hear stories from far away lands, from nomads on high altitudes, from streets that are damp. My ears hear stories of rainbows and hues, of everything other than the blues. They seek refuge in the warmth of words that sprinkle contemplation. The shrieks and wails of people bleeding to death are just beyond my frequency range. And that's the reason why I'm forced to turn a deaf ear towards them. Perhaps I wouldn't have been this deaf if I had a heart.
My tongue is a source of joy for everyone who is already having the time of their lives. I utter bewitching words of love that endures, of admiration, of everything other than that which should be cured. I speak about the majesty of nature but when it comes to the atrocity prevailing around me, this lump of muscle in my mouth gets fatigued. Perhaps I would've had voice when it was needed the most, if and only if I had a heart.
My hands and feet are my own property created for none other than for myself. The power to control them comes from the heart, not from the mind. And that, I lack. I have everything, but I have nothing useful. I am physically complete but spiritually impaired. It's better not to be given this blessing called life even if it's given with all its spices but just not one, the power of empathy. And without it I'm just Satan's personification. An evil force hidden under the disguise of a heartfelt human. I'm nothing but a devil's image. I wonder how different the world today would be IF we had a heart.

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