I hear the ticking of the clock as every fragment of my being slowly dissipates into the void. Inside of me war wages on, a war that doesn’t decide who is right but only who is left.What if I didn’t make that decision? Would I still be split into two halves that when put together don’t even make a whole?

I was autumn and you were my spring. I put you on a weighing scale and gave away your life for a few bundles of paper with numbers. It was a decision I made for myself not out of poverty but out of greed.

I gave you away,
when every single atom of my body was against me.
I gave you away,
when you were supposed to be at school studying.
I gave you away
when you cried out to me “ No father. Please.”

I sold you to a man in the name of marriage.I escorted you through these hallways with tears in your eyes. I didn’t realize that after a few days, i’d have to carry you through these very same hallways void of life and far from this world. But believe me dear, I am now a broken man. I have seen the error of my ways but there is no way to rectify them. I am a wanderer who is lost.

When i go to the store, I now buy cigarettes along with milk.When I go to sleep, I now scream on top of my lungs while the radio plays. When I go to work, I bump into people & things. When I talk, I only stutter your name. When I look in the mirror, I see a distorted image of you.

Every single day I contemplate and cry to the lord. I question my very soul.
What will I say if i meet you in the next world.