Dreary Non-Existence
It is very difficult to write something as a Final Year student and not be nostalgic about the never-to-return moments of your college life. But more so, there is a tendency to glorify the experience: to chop off the unpleasant parts and stich up the remnants to create memories of idyllic times. We are, after all, humans; suppression, repression, denial are part of our programming. The truth of the matter is: KE life sucks a lot. Really, it does. The memorable moments are like planets, giant and colourful, with oceans and rings and tiny moons circling them. But surrounding them is the infinite vastness of space, the pitch black gloom, the dreary non-existence.
Five years in the same class and still occasionally you see an unrecognizable face. The flock of smothered, anemic girls and the hordes of tawdry brutes, they all look the same from a distance, don't they? Dreary Non-existence, Ladies and Gentlemen. Depression and anxiety among students is rocket high. The stress is enough to turn coal into diamonds, but many fragile brains of Kemcolians just turn into a mush. Poor terrorized souls, bounded in invisible chains since day one. And then there are the beards and burqas of KE, both manifest and occult. Through coercion and conversion, a stifling, almost primitive morality is enforced. Hands-in-hands with the B-Bs are the Smutties. Coming from even primitive peripheries, studying in such 'proximity' (a relative term) of the opposite gender just blows their minds, and the subconscious moral baggage mutates their new-found experiences into monstrous social evils. Gossiping, persecution become the norm. Affairs are created where none exist and the existent ones are exposed and exploited to the pleasures of the barbarian crowd, squealing in delight to the impulses of their own perversions.
Yes, i am bitter. Yes, i am cynical. But it is because i refuse to ignore the darkness. Lives have been irreversibly harmed in the walls of this institution. There is something terribly wrong about this place. I know because i see. I was shielded from many fires of this hell by my friends, one in particular. But many were not fortunate enough and if you sniff hard enough, you will sense the odour of burning flesh.
I am, however, also hopeful. Because the future is as yet unwritten. The younglings are not yet fully chained; the psychological moulding is still in progress. The mantra of "All is Well" will do nothing to halt it; at least i don't think so. Perhaps it is only through the anguish of recognition that any genuine change can be brought, within and without.
And oh, yes, there is another tendency in Final Year writers: to narrate and advise like wearied, old elders.
There may, however, be some truth in this tendency.
11 comments
I agree with your point on sugar-coating and selective memory. Since it gets us through life, its not at all bad.
ReplyDeleteAnd the beards and burqas live their own life. You live yours. Why so irked by them? :P
Through coercion and conversion, a stifling, almost primitive morality is enforced.
ReplyDeleteIf they don't enforce their 'morality' on you, then why care/be bitter about it????
Gossiping, persecution become the norm. Affairs are created where none exist and the existent ones are exposed and exploited to the pleasures of the barbarian crowd, squealing in delight to the impulses of their own perversions.
Sadly, this is very true. The mind just cannot mind it's own business yeah. But the best way to deal with this is to fully ignore any stupid rumour that comes along (even if it's true), and of course, if a silly discussion like this is going on, instead of leaving in a huff, trying to steer the conversation to something constructive.
Morality is one very confusing issue, perhaps because it's so relative? Here are two articles that I think may be relevant to what you've written, though which side of the moral police the reader will opt to be, still remains a moot point!
ReplyDelete*http://pakteahouse.wordpress.com/2009/10/02/love-and-sex-at-lums-1-the-secret-love-life-of-lums-students/
*http://pakteahouse.wordpress.com/2010/03/30/media-morality-and-us/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed:+teahouse+(Pak+Tea+House)
That is sooo true... friends are what change life at KE from barely bearable to the greatest!
ReplyDeleteSo is the whole -enough stress to turn coal into diamonds- part.. med study is tough everywhere bt our teachers dont exactly try their best 2 make it easy 4 us...
Move on buddy. The life that awaits you is far more vast than the life you spent at KE.
ReplyDeletePanda
Talking of the affairs; u certainly hit the right point. N the fact does hold awfuly true in preclinical years.
ReplyDeleteBut indeed, things other than this do matter. The difficulties v face at KE wil certainly help us overcome the challanges of the real, practical life.
Bitterness is the price we pay for daring to look Life in the eye.
ReplyDeleteApril 7, 2010 7:22 PM
ReplyDeleteare you saying you have never been a part of any gossip,anything youself? ..you havent been a part of the flock who ridiculed girls,made fun of the person sitting just ahead of you,targetted people just because you 'thought' u dint like them..
so yes,I would ask everyone to first look what they have given to this place before providing critique..
@ anonymous
ReplyDeleteNo, i do not put myself above blame. Definitely not. I being a part of the KE society am as much subject to the critique as anyone else.
There was one particular incident in 1st year, which i still regret. After that i do not think i have indulged in malicious gossip myself.
wow,good one.And it stings too,coz maybe it hits where it hurts.
ReplyDeleteBut thankfully, my life at KE has been a pristine,glorious journey so far( cutting out those substages,if u please).
Our true characters are revealed when we think we have that particular brand of anonymity a huge class affords,an anonymity which hurts certain bloated egos.maybe.but really, maybe All IS well.for now,atleast.
and it'd happen anywhere,KE or not.
thats human.with a good dose of tolerance,one can always overcome this cynical cyanosis KE is hell bent to diagnose us with :)
kant agree with u more...life at ke sucks
ReplyDelete